Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
