I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
