Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

Tell him ill love him long time

(1-773): View more from Illinois

I'll assure him of it

Fav 3 1957 922
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.

Fav 12 2600 1141
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(507): View more from Minnesota

Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."

Fav 15 5242 765
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(303): View more from Colorado

I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight

Fav 50 13557 1913
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(613): View more from Ontario

I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.

Fav 11 1305 4645
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(317): View more from Indiana

if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?

(317): View more from Indiana

all hypothetical of course

Fav 14 5866 1597
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked

Fav 7 3166 1009
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.

Fav 5 1464 632
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(919): View more from North Carolina

sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down

Fav 0 448 169
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