woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
