I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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