some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize