Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
