Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
