All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
