Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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