ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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