ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
