PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
