There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I need to calm my uterus...
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
