I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
