she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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