Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I have fence marks all over my body
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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