Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
