toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
