I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm both gender and math confused
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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