do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
