OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
