pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
