I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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