Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
