Already got asked if we're dating
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize