Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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