i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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