hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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