in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
