You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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