Hey man sorry I got all grabby
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
