life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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