She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
