nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
