Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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