Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize