Just cropdusted the office
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
