i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
