its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
