a search helicopter?!
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
