So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
