your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
