Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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