my soul wont recognize me after tonight
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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