so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
