Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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