Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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