? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
