Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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