Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
