life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
