"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
