Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
