i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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