before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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