I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
