did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
