I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize