my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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