She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
