There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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