So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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