sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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