Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
