That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
