Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
