it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
