I cockslap morals
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
