My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
