Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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