did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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