just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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